#Poetry: Why Did You? #MPBooks

A dark poem on a very dark subject we find difficult to speak about.

crouched in sadness
Image from Pixabay.com

I must warn you that the following poem is a dark one with a dark theme which still makes many uncomfortable to speak openly about.  Written at a time I was feeling very down, I thought it was still okay to release it publicly, though it won’t be to everybody’s taste.  If you’d rather not read dark poetry then I’ll understand, but for those that wish to speak about the poem or the subject, please feel free to do so in the comments below ❤

Why Did You?

Why did you?
Family bond disown,
When you came to me,
Who was all alone.

Why did you?
Let me feel a sin,
As your hand did place,
Skin on skin.

Why did you?
Make a child lie,
When others saw,
A touch of thigh.

Why did you?
Never take the blame,
In your heart not once,
Feel the shame.

Why did you?
Think that ‘family’,
Gave you all the rights,
could you not see.

Why did you?
Keep the grin, the smile,
Act ‘all is well’,
While I tasted bile.

Why did you?
Make me feel true hate,
Wish for the day,
I’d see you cremate.

Why did you?
Let me shake and cry,
Wish that you,
Then I would die.

Why did you?

This is a tough topic to talk about but if you wish to leave comments please do, I’d like to hear what anyone wants to say 🙂

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#Poetry: A Life Unfurled #MPBooks

A dark poem filled with pain.

Hidden Girl
Image from Pixabay.com

I want to warn everyone that today’s poem is dark and weird so those of you who are interested in only cheerful things may not want to read.  It’s a bit of a  weird poem as it was inspired by the emotional place I’ve been in the past, I’m not sure it was worth posting though and don’t worry as this is not a reflection on my life, though there is some truth to parts of it 😮  I hope someone out there ‘enjoys’ reading it 😕  Have a great Friday! ❤

A Life Unfurled

A truth kept hidden,
Always made to hide,
Never could be honest,
What I felt inside.

Felt shame just to meet,
Would never attend,
Any social gathering,
Was without friend.

Grew through the years,
Could never make start,
To be a new person,
Always felt apart.

Wanted to change,
But always afraid,
Soon felt soul,
Would be decayed.

Knew I  was throwing,
My Life away,
Felt I would die,
If I stayed this way,

Wanted to live,
A life of free,
Be rid of the pain,
That’s holding me.

So here I am,
Open to ache,
Will my heart,
Mend or break?

I tell you my story,
To save my own life,
Will you give me air,
Or use a knife?

What are your thoughts after reading this poem?  Reading back I’m not sure what to think myself so I’d love to hear from anyone. 

Do you enjoy dark poetry?  Or do you prefer lighter reading?  Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

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#BookReview: Beck by Mal Peet & Meg Rosoff #MPBooks

A dark YA historical fiction novel that is The Sunday Times Children’s Book of the Year 2016

Beck book coverTitle: Beck

Author: Mal Peet (&Meg Rosoff)

Publisher: Walker Books

Genre: YA Historical Fiction

Feathers: One My Peacock Books featherOne My Peacock Books feather


Description: Born of a brief encounter between his mother and an African sailor on the streets of Liverpool in the 1900s, Beck lives a life that is defined by a longing to find his place in the world.  Orphaned and shipped to Canada and the untender care of the Catholic Brothers, he finds little humanity as he journeys westwards.  What will it take for Beck to finally find home?

My Review: ‘Beck’ is a YA historical fiction novel which unfortunately just didn’t hold my attention.  Set, in the beginning, in Liverpool but mostly Canada in the early 1900s the story follows Beck, an orphaned mixed race boy who finds it hard to find a place he can call home.  The first few pages are actually a backstory explaining how Beck came to be, how his parents met, but then the book really starts with Beck being taken to the orphanage and what happens there and beyond.

Although the start of the novel was a bit strange to me, focusing on Beck’s parents and their encounter, I did get into this, at first.  It’s not long before the orphanage ships Beck along with other boys to Canada and this is where the real story starts.  I won’t go into too much detail so I don’t spoil it for anyone but this part of the book for me was the best.  What happens to Beck while staying with the Christian Brothers is very dark but also very compelling.  Although I could guess at the start that Beck would face these sorts of problems, it’s what actually happens and the way things are described that kept my attention throughout this section of the book.  I did think that this story would continue especially after a particular brutal incident, however this part of the novel just ends with another section starting in a different location completely.

The book has four parts and each part is a separate section of Beck’s life.  Usually I don’t mind a story moving along a few months or even years like this, but each part is almost like a separate short story/novella with little reference to what happened previously and although we sometimes see Beck remembering something there’s never a deep look at how affected he is by the events of his past.  In fact the whole novel took on this distant feel to it that I didn’t like and it makes me question whether it’s a YA novel at all.  For me YA means you get to know the characters and what they are thinking but Beck is a very closed character.  We see what he’s doing but we rarely really get inside his head.  It also didn’t help that each time a new part started there is a backstory of the other characters that Beck has just met.  The back story of the last two parts had so much information about Bone and then Grace that it made me lose interest entirely as I really wanted to continue Beck’s story but had to wade through many pages of other people’s back story first.  While the backstory was interesting and helped in understanding the next part I wish it had been explained in a better way, in bits, like most books do.

This novel has some use of the s and f swear words with the f word having multiple spellings due to the dialogue being written as you hear it, with accents such as: “An’ yer don’ wanna go down there.  Tha’s right, ennit”, which I don’t enjoy reading in books especially modern ones as it slows down my reading.  The whole book is dark with violence and abuse which can be hard to read.  Because of this I wouldn’t recommend this book to anyone but a mature teen and older.

While the whole book had a lot of potential I just didn’t enjoy reading this.  The ending is a good and satisfying one but with no real resolution to what happened at the beginning.  I liked parts of the story and each part on its own would have made an interesting story but together this whole book just doesn’t work for me and it’s a shame because I really thought it would get deeper into the mind of Beck and the effects of what happened to him.  Some parts of the book read differently too, with parts of the descriptions bordering on too flowery and other parts not. but maybe this is due to the fact that Mal Peet the author died before finishing this novel and some of the text was written by Meg Rosoff.  I don’t know if this had any effect on the overall plot but this book just didn’t appeal to me, despite numerous good review for it, and I won’t be reading it again.
-Thanks to Walker Books for a free copy.

Have you read Beck or another Mal Peet novel?  Let me know what you thought, or if you think it’s a book you’d like to read?  I’d love to hear from you 🙂  Chat with me in these places too:

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#Poetry: Life With You #MPBooks

A poem with a twist.

Bouquet on floor
Image from Pixabay.com

I really don’t want to comment on this poem here.  I’d rather you read it first and then tell me what you think.  I’d really like some opinions on this, it’s inspired by a daily prompt.

Life With You

I knew your pain as you did mine,
A kindred soul, love divine.
I wept, I shared all my fears,
You held me tight through all the tears.
Felt our hearts were true, entwined,
Our broken pasts were all behind.

I finally see through;
New life with you.

Together we made fresh new start,
Vowed to never be apart.
Happiness, peace, at last inside,
When we joined, husband, bride.
Pact, a promise we did seal,
For our lives, true ideal.

I finally see through;
New life with you.

Days and months becoming years,
Came the laughter, came the sneers.
Nothing ever done too right,
Always ready for a fight.
Talking in a monotone,
Left at home all alone.

I finally see through;
New life with you.

I knew your pain as you gave mine,
A blacked soul, love a brine.
I wept, realised all my fears,
You held me tight, caused all my tears.
Felt your heart untrue, I pined,
My broken past left me blind.

I finally see through;
Life: illusion with you.

This poem took me some time to write as it came from an emotional place.  Please let me know what you think of it.

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#Poetry: How Many Times? #MPBooks

A short but dark poem inspired by the daily prompt.

Flower on soil
Image from Pixabay.com

I had a bit of a bad day yesterday (depressive thoughts and feelings) and turned to writing as an outlet.  The result is this dark poem.  The good news is that it lifted my mood to post this, as if the writing of my dark thoughts leave me when I write.  I hope it is well received despite the darkness of it.

How Many Times?

How many times did I, let you inside?
Spent life afraid, wanting to hide.
Why did I let you, say those things to me?
Blinded by love, expecting you to see.
How could you take, control of my life?
Forgot who I was, more than just a wife.
Why didn’t I see, that I could simply leave?
Made me think no-one, would want to ever grieve.
How many times did I, let you get inside?
Too late to count now, I’ve already died.

Poem inspired by the daily prompt word Total (as in ‘total number of times…’)

 Please let me know what you think, I’d love to hear from you.  Come check me out in these places too 🙂 : 

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#Poetry: The Real You #MPBooks

A darker poem for National Poetry Month

A quick word of warning for all who are new to following me.  Although I do have a happy demeanor, I also write a lot of darker poetry.  It’s a good outlet for my mind and thoughts as I’ve suffered through some tough times.  This is one of those darker poems.

Damaged mannequin
Image from Pixabay.com

The Real You

The truth of your heart was plain to see,
To all outside but never to me.
I was blinded by your words, your trust,
Never believing they’d turn to rust.
I consumed the lies every time you said,
Things would change, stop the dread.
My head would scream, my heart deny,
Believe the secret, tears I’d cry.
Let myself ignore what’s true,
The love I wished came not from you.
Deaf to all who tried to show,
What truth was real, what I should know.
Now too late no time to mend,
But got their wish, for this to end.
Only regret I have in my soul,
You ended it, my life you stole.

Any thoughts please do comment 🙂

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