#Poetry: Life With You #MPBooks

A poem with a twist.

Bouquet on floor
Image from Pixabay.com

I really don’t want to comment on this poem here.  I’d rather you read it first and then tell me what you think.  I’d really like some opinions on this, it’s inspired by a daily prompt.

Life With You

I knew your pain as you did mine,
A kindred soul, love divine.
I wept, I shared all my fears,
You held me tight through all the tears.
Felt our hearts were true, entwined,
Our broken pasts were all behind.

I finally see through;
New life with you.

Together we made fresh new start,
Vowed to never be apart.
Happiness, peace, at last inside,
When we joined, husband, bride.
Pact, a promise we did seal,
For our lives, true ideal.

I finally see through;
New life with you.

Days and months becoming years,
Came the laughter, came the sneers.
Nothing ever done too right,
Always ready for a fight.
Talking in a monotone,
Left at home all alone.

I finally see through;
New life with you.

I knew your pain as you gave mine,
A blacked soul, love a brine.
I wept, realised all my fears,
You held me tight, caused all my tears.
Felt your heart untrue, I pined,
My broken past left me blind.

I finally see through;
Life: illusion with you.

This poem took me some time to write as it came from an emotional place.  Please let me know what you think of it.

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#Poetry: How Many Times? #MPBooks

A short but dark poem inspired by the daily prompt.

Flower on soil
Image from Pixabay.com

I had a bit of a bad day yesterday (depressive thoughts and feelings) and turned to writing as an outlet.  The result is this dark poem.  The good news is that it lifted my mood to post this, as if the writing of my dark thoughts leave me when I write.  I hope it is well received despite the darkness of it.

How Many Times?

How many times did I, let you inside?
Spent life afraid, wanting to hide.
Why did I let you, say those things to me?
Blinded by love, expecting you to see.
How could you take, control of my life?
Forgot who I was, more than just a wife.
Why didn’t I see, that I could simply leave?
Made me think no-one, would want to ever grieve.
How many times did I, let you get inside?
Too late to count now, I’ve already died.

Poem inspired by the daily prompt word Total (as in ‘total number of times…’)

 Please let me know what you think, I’d love to hear from you.  Come check me out in these places too 🙂 : 

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#Colouring: A Walk In Nature Peacock #MPBooks

A new peacock from A Walk in Nature. Do you like this picture?

Colouring is a great form of fun as well as be a way for people to cope with some mental health problems such as anxiety and depression.  Mindfulness is the new ‘in-thing’ and what better way to be in the moment and concentrate on the ‘now’ rather than worry about the future than to colour!

Today I bring you a piece of colouring!  This comes from the colouring book ‘Chroma-Therapy: A Walk in Nature’ which I have recently reviewed here.  As this is My Peacock Books it’s only fitting I give you a nice image of a peacock.  It’s done in WHSmith Colouring Pencils (still the best pencils I’ve tried to far!).  Tell me what you think 😀 ! I’d love to know if you like my colouring skills!! 🙂

A coloured in peacock
A mix of colours, some realistic, some not 🙂

What do you think of my colouring?  Do you like the colours?  Does it spark any emotions in you?

Please do comment 🙂  You can also find me in these places: 

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#Poetry: The Fall #MPBooks

A dark and disturbing poem inspired by the daily prompt.

Woman sinking photo
Image from Pexels.com

This is some dark poetry I wrote yesterday when I saw the Daily Post’s prompt word of the day was descend.   Warning, some people may find the following content distressing.   If some of my dark poetry is too dark for you, then you’re welcome to check out my new Poetry page for a list of all my poems both Light and Dark.

The Fall

I descend into, I don’t know where,
A world filled with, only despair,
Where time has now forever ceased,
Seconds, minutes hours are feast.

I descend into, I don’t know where,
A place so dark I do not dare,
To open my eyes, see the sight,
Ceaseless night, endless blight.

I descend into, I don’t know where,
A place of rot, my skin I tear,
Cut and scrape, cause eyes to weep,
All to see if still red does seep.

I descend into, I don’t know where,
Time is paused, I sit and stare,
Contemplate, a life now past,
Detest the choices that were cast.

I descend into, I don’t know where,
A world enveloped with warfare,
Thoughts, beliefs conflict in mind,
Future unclear, reality blind.

I descend into, I don’t know where,
A place from which I do not care,
My only wish, I could go back,
To fix where life began to crack.

Any Thoughts?   Please do comment 🙂  You can also find me in these places: 

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#Poetry: Is This The Final Goodbye? #MentalHealthAwareness #MPBooks

This is not a poetry post but contains a poem. This post is to raise awareness during #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek

Picture of a sad girl
A sad girl – Image from Pexels.com

This week (8th-14th May) is #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek in the UK and I felt it was time to share something a bit personal with you.  Many of my followers whom I knew from my old blog will already know this but I suffer from depression.  The truth is I have suffered some form of depression since my childhood.  It’s not something that I’m proud to admit, but something which I feel needs sharing as there is a stigma around mental health, especially the mental health of young people, which needs to be addressed.

Many young people, teenagers especially, suffer from depression.  The first time I was officially diagnosed as having depression was as a teenager but the truth is I suffered, a maybe milder, depression since I was a child.  It’s dark to admit this but I didn’t have the best of childhoods.  Some bad things happened in my life and I developed what you could call a ‘sadness’.

While I always try to be what I believe is my true nature – a happy person who always laughs and smiles and enjoys life, the reality is that growing up in circumstances where I didn’t feel I could be carefree and happy, where I couldn’t really be a child, led me to become sad.  Having no real friends at that age didn’t help matters and when diagnosed with a life changing medical condition I became more distanced from kids my age and fell into my own depression.

As a teenager with the pressures that others can put on you, especially if you’re not part of the ‘popular’ group, things just spiralled and I was officially diagnosed at the age of 13 or 14 (I can’t quite remember how old I was).

Living with depression hasn’t been easy and for me the condition came and went.  Inside the ‘real’ me, the bubbly, happy, smiley me, is still here and indeed wants to be the only me in this body, but there’s a darker force that sometimes takes over and pulls a dark curtain over my entire vision.  It’s this back and forth pull between feeling happy and sad that I have written about in the poem below.  It’s not a complete picture of how my depression affects me, but an idea of how it does, and how it can affect others.

Before I end I want to reassure everyone that I didn’t have a completely rotten childhood, I have a lot of happy memories but the sad ones are there too.  Perhaps it explains my sometimes childish/daft nature today – making up for the lost years.

No matter what you may think about mental health, having depression or indeed any other mental illness doesn’t make someone ‘wrong’ or ‘damaged’.  We are all people and anyone in the world can suffer from mental health problems.  A lot of the famous people suffer from some sort of mental illnesses like depression and it’s time to open up our minds to this and see that everyone is the same, and even if someone is suffering from this condition they are just as human and ‘normal’ as the rest of you.

I hope this post will help someone.  Please do share this post and indeed any post about mental health awareness if you feel it would help someone.

And I want to leave you with this thought.  I saw a fantastic pic on twitter today saying this:

Please don’t give up on someone with mental illness.  when the ‘I’ isreplaced by ‘we’ illness becomes wellness

So don’t give up on people, don’t stigmatise them and if you can do nothing else, just be understanding and treat the other person as a fellow human being.  We are all the same, and mental illness is nothing to be feared or ridiculed.

If you are suffering know you are not alone, and I am happy to talk to anyone who may need it 🙂 ❤

Poem: Is This The Final Goodbye?

It began with something simple,
Small piece of heart dissolved.
No more than a word spoken,
Caused pain unresolved.

Every time I try to fix it,
Tell myself I’m better now.
Pretend it didn’t matter,
Get on with life somehow.

But lying will not help it,
The pain it will come back.
The world will turn from colour,
To simple shade of black.

Cannot lift the curtain,
There is no quick release.
All thoughts return to one thing,
My life I wish to cease.

Mistakes I’ve made appear,
Things done and not all plague,
My thoughts all turn to misery,
Anything good seems only vague.

I want this pain to end,
To be the final time.
Don’t want to feel this way again,
Do I sink or do I climb?

Just want it all to finish,
Don’t want a life, be dead.
Imagine all the ways,
My body spread in red.

But small as it is, a part of me,
Can’t let go, wants to holds on.
A truth burried deep inside of me,
Don’t wish to really be gone.

Just want the pain to vanish,
Want a new life, things done right.
So despite the pain I hold on,
I choose to stay and fight.

Hate myself each time I fail,
Feel proud when I’m doing well.
Battle is my own though,
Nobody else can tell.

So now I try to be happy,
To everyone I smile.
But scared the pain will be back,
That I’ll start to taste the bile.

Please do comment, this is a subject we shouldn’t be scared to speak about.  ❤ ❤  You can also find me in these places: 

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#Poetry: Your Vile Smile #MPBooks

A dark poem for National Poetry Month and a response to the daily prompt.

Woman looking in mirror
Image from Pexels.com

I know it seems I’ve gone a poetry craze but this is in response to the wordpress daily prompt, the word being Chuckle.  I will have more varied posts coming soon, promise 🙂

Your Vile Smile

You make me laugh, you make me smile,
Though inside you’re filled with bile.
You show yourself, happy, true,
No one know the truth of you.
Times there are, I love you near,
But sometimes you are all I fear.
How can I live this way?
Waiting for you to say.
Vile words that leave your lips,
Same ones that bring you tips.
The hatred I feel inside,
For you. From myself I hide.

Any thoughts please do comment 🙂

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#Poetry: The Real You #MPBooks

A darker poem for National Poetry Month

A quick word of warning for all who are new to following me.  Although I do have a happy demeanor, I also write a lot of darker poetry.  It’s a good outlet for my mind and thoughts as I’ve suffered through some tough times.  This is one of those darker poems.

Damaged mannequin
Image from Pixabay.com

The Real You

The truth of your heart was plain to see,
To all outside but never to me.
I was blinded by your words, your trust,
Never believing they’d turn to rust.
I consumed the lies every time you said,
Things would change, stop the dread.
My head would scream, my heart deny,
Believe the secret, tears I’d cry.
Let myself ignore what’s true,
The love I wished came not from you.
Deaf to all who tried to show,
What truth was real, what I should know.
Now too late no time to mend,
But got their wish, for this to end.
Only regret I have in my soul,
You ended it, my life you stole.

Any thoughts please do comment 🙂

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